My friend is Syreeta is a genius

Ok, Kirstin was afraid she killed the blog with the ham dick (she didn't, it's fierce), so I decided it's time for the first post of '09....with cake dick!

I have gained a bazillion pounds since moving to Chicago (and am attempting for the umpteenth time to get back down to my California weight), and I blame this on the fact that two of my best friends (Vally Val being one of them) are bakers. The other is Syreeta, who is a pro decorator who runs a cake biz called sugar and vice. I heart Syreeta a whole lot. Check out the cake she made for Samantha's birthday above.

Anyway, she hosted a Liberace party last saturday and made LIBERACE COOKIES!!!! They were far more perfect before I brought them home in a baggie, so use your imagination:



She works at a bakery all day then comes home and bakes these for us! There were also piano cookies (which I ate, oops!) Mmmm, black frosting.

Syreeta gets props for having MAD SUGAR SKILLZ.

see more pwn and owned pictures

Dick food

Stuff I ate at a bachelorette party last night:

-dick pasta salad (with ham and mayonnaise)

-blowjob shots (amaretto, bailey's, whipped cream, no hands)

-dick cake (actually I didn't eat any)

-cocktail franks with beans

-olives and gherkins threaded on a toothpick to look like dick n' balls

-hot wings

-doritos

I also got fake-fucked by a stripper named "black magic" with a monstrously big dick. It was ridiculous. I really don't get the whole bachelorette party thing but it was fun in a horrible way. I had the WORST heartburn after though. I guess dick doesn't agree with me.