Saturday, December 6, 2008

white people manage to screw up white food

Just got back from a baby shower in Indiana. It was held in a church activity room so I should've known better and stopped off at Subway. Hell, beef jerky from a gas station would've been better than what was served. With the exception of the baked goods, NOTHING was homemade. The only vegetable type matter I could find was celery sticks and salsa. For some reason there was onion dip but no potato chips. Warm 2 liters of pop were out. There was no ice. Potato salad and cole slaw were still in the tubs from Jewel they had been bought in.

Don't get me wrong, I am casual. I have served friends tater tots and frozen pizza from Aldi but that was just friends getting together, hanging out in my living room in lieu of a bar. When I have served tater tots to dinner guests you bet your hot ass the meat loaf I made was HOMEMADE and tasty and there was gravy (seriously, tater tots with gravy kicks ass). But for a shower I would expect things kicked up a notch or two.

Christmas will be interesting. I told Granny I will bring salad and I've already been ordered to not spend alot of money like I did last time (I think I spent all of $10 on salad for 10+ people which I think is pretty reasonable). She suggested salad in a bag. Not gonna do it. I also volunteered to bring a side dish. I understand Granny is in her late 80s and I don't expect her to cook but let me if I am willing! She is already talking of just having "one large dish". I know we're going to have a Christmas casserole, I just know it. I'm bringing laxatives for all.


The Snarky Nutritionist said...

Ooh boy. Don't get me started on people who celebrate by buying the nastiest crap in bulk from Cost-co. Cookies and cheese cake that will never go bad, so creepy ants and mice wouldn't eat it. The ingredient list is huge and written in tiny dense pixilated writing and hydrogenated soybean oil comes up at least three times. It's not about about "oh, I'm being bad and eating cake" anymore. It's "I'm going to scramble my cells so they don't work anymore, and it didn't even taste that good."

Anonymous said...

Who the hell puts gravy on tater tots.... hell thats like jelly on eggs... don't dis white people for being a little lazy when ur taste buds are fuckin weird!