Sunday, August 24, 2008

Stuff I hate, volume 1.

-Vanilla as a savory seasoning. It's innovative, sure. But also kind of gross. It's only acceptable because it's less gross than you would expect, but that doesn't really mean it works.

-People who try to convince me of the superiority of vegan baked goods. Don't get me wrong, I've eaten some that were delicious, but I don't think they taste better (or are really any healthier) than if they had been made with butter and eggs. (Unless you have an allergy, butter and eggs are good for you. Have a problem with factory farming? Buy organic.)

"People get all excited about vegan baked goods. You know what's exciting? DAIRY FAT!" -Mike R.

"People only think vegan baked goods taste good because they expect them to taste bad and they're pleasantly suprised." -Andy C.

Actually, don't get me started on vegan elitism at all, heads will roll.

-Stupid one word bar and restaurant names. Bite. Feed. Sip. Swig. Puke.

-Sushi as an overpriced gimmick. Y'all do realize that that $15 "dragon maki" you're eating is a way to use up past-date fish by hiding it under hot sauce and avocado slices, doncha?

-Having to teach bartenders how to mix basic drinks, like a White Russian. I don't understand why it's so difficult to get bartending jobs when the industry is full of incompetent idiots.


Vally Val said...

Val Smash:

1. bad nachos
2. gourmet takes on basic sandwhiches, thus making a BLT ridiculously and in excusably expensive
3. the disappearance of Butter & Herb Pringles
4. anything that tastes like licorice besides licorice
5. having to pay 50 cents for soy milk in my coffee at most coffee shops-I buy soy milk and I know what it costs and the mark up is ridiculous
6. speaking of ridiculous mark ups....ordering pasta at just about any restaurant is a complete rip off
7. Miracle Whip

Bianca James said...

dude, post this as an entry! You have author permission.

Melissa said...

I don't think we realized the sushi thing-- maybe because they wouldn't dream of doing that in Japan! fucking dirty Americans!-- but we always get one of those fancy rolls with the takeout and the boy gets sick sometimes.

guess we should stick to the nice eat-in places and the basic stuff? duh-dur.