Saturday, September 20, 2008

Soy rant

So, my revulsion du jour is that disgusting crap "soy sauce" that you occasionally encounter with really bad takeout or in the generic house-brand packaging of your local grocery store (particularly if your local grocery store is in a central Texas town most famous for spawning a doomed would-be Messiah). The first three ingredients are water, salt, and caramel coloring, and there is usually no soy presence whatsoever. There is sometimes some "autolyzed yeast extract" (ARE YOU GIVING ME WATERY VEGEMITE AND TELLING ME IT'S SOY SAUCE?!), but sometimes it really is nothing but water, salt, fake colors, and fake flavors. It's really gross.

While I'm on it, I know that genuine wasabi is really expensive and delicate blah-blah-most-wasabi-is-just-horseradish, and I can deal with that. I'm actually not a wasabi snob. However, when it comes out of the little pouchlet looking like a baby ate two parts green Play-Doh and one part Burger King bun Play-Doh, then pooped it into my plastic takeout sushi tray, we have a problem. Come on, people. I agreed to accept green-tinted horseradish as a suitable condiment. Don't exploit my goodwill with sorbitol, corn oil, and Blue #1.

I know it's my fault for eating grocery store sushi, but where I live it's comparable to anything you could get at the two "sushi" "restaurants" at my disposal.


Bianca James said...

Ooooh, that's NASTY. What's burger king bun playdoh, though?

Cinnacism said...

The color of Play-Doh that you used to make hamburger buns in the little Burger King playset. If I remember correctly, there was a special color.